...but you're a bit nervous about the wildfire your 2nd-Person-
Crap is becoming. It's spreading faster than your legs around a football player. What you meant was...
Your so worth it 5-hour shift last night was the last time you worked with The-Extremely-Hot-and-Young-Looking-32-Year-Old. Yes, you're sad, but, who knows. Maybe her not-replacement will know the truth about tuberculosis. Because it's SO not worms. Who has worms in their lungs? Eww.
Speaking of being fired... You're not. But once The-Extremely-Hot-and-Young-Looking-32-Year-Old tells The-Manager about your slight rape innuendo in regards to her hunk of a hubby, you may be. The-Hunky-Hetero will be yours. All you need is a sex change.
Speaking of relationships you're going to accidentally destroy. Your Conflicted-Gay-Christian-Friend has moved on to round two with his football player. You're going to call him later and tell him how to make the football player cry. You always found that to be amazingly fun in High School. Back then. "What? You love me? Fag..."
Moving on... You're sick of being sick. All this coughing and sinus pressure has turned you into some sort of heterosexual couch-salad. Why doesn't that sound right? Anyhow. You're currently blogging in a 3-sizes-too-large tee-shirt and a pair of boxer briefs. Normally, by this hour in the morning, you'd already be doing lines off the back of James St. James' hand while telling Michale Alig that he looks "Fabulous!"
But you digress. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone can be a Club Kid. Try as you might, you're simply the worst homosexual ever. Damnit.
Crap is becoming. It's spreading faster than your legs around a football player. What you meant was...Your so worth it 5-hour shift last night was the last time you worked with The-Extremely-Hot-and-Young-Looking-32-Year-Old. Yes, you're sad, but, who knows. Maybe her not-replacement will know the truth about tuberculosis. Because it's SO not worms. Who has worms in their lungs? Eww.
Speaking of being fired... You're not. But once The-Extremely-Hot-and-Young-Looking-32-Year-Old tells The-Manager about your slight rape innuendo in regards to her hunk of a hubby, you may be. The-Hunky-Hetero will be yours. All you need is a sex change.
Moving on... You're sick of being sick. All this coughing and sinus pressure has turned you into some sort of heterosexual couch-salad. Why doesn't that sound right? Anyhow. You're currently blogging in a 3-sizes-too-large tee-shirt and a pair of boxer briefs. Normally, by this hour in the morning, you'd already be doing lines off the back of James St. James' hand while telling Michale Alig that he looks "Fabulous!"
But you digress. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone can be a Club Kid. Try as you might, you're simply the worst homosexual ever. Damnit.

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