You're not sick...

...but, well, nothing witty here, kids. You're sick.

You had no clue that it was possible for one person to produce such a large amount phlegm. It's amazing how even that word looks gross.

Oh, and if anyone could tell you why it is you can't stop coughing only when you're sleeping you'd warn them loudly to explain from a distance, because only you can resist this sickness and you don't want to be a murderer.

However...

If you were even in a Battle Royale-type situation, you so would. You watched Battle Royale last night and loved it.

Moving on... You're going to call The-Little-Shop-of-Whorrors in a little while to see what time you're supposed to work today. In all actuality you're calling to see if you still have a job, because after Sunday (which followed the vacuum-less Saturday) you're none too sure.

Then, after (possibly) working tonight The-Not-So-Gay-Trio is heading over to your mother's house to watch Sweeney Todd with her and your sister. Yay!

But you digress... Not all problems can be solved with a Sondheim musical. But this one can.